.. "prIncEss" diaries ..

The "Napkin Confession.."

2011-06-15T15:15:00.001+05:30

I feel like writing a poem.
I want to make someone's day.
But words don't come to my mind,
No one cares about what I have to say.

I want to touch a heart.
Dig deep inside my soul.
I want to feel alive again.
That should be my goal.

But empty thoughts run through my head,
To match the emptiness in my heart.
There's so much left to say,
That I don't know where to start.

Should I tell the story of my life,
Which would only bring you tears?
Should I create a magic world,
That will last beyond your years?

Should I paint a pretty picture,
Of the peaceful, shiny sea?
Should I expose myself to you,
So you could finally see the REAL Me?

I want to write a poem,
But the paper's stained with blood.
So instead I'll drop my pen.
Watch it fall with a hollow thud.

I could tell my secrets now.
I could explain why life gets tough.
But what would be the use?
The darkest words are not enough.

- Ritu Kapadia on 2nd January 2009 (06 : 56 am)

..I'm coming back, pretty soon! kisses

2011-06-04T19:31:00.001+05:30

It's been a while since i've posted. But, been caught up. Though in this busy schedule, I thought taking out time and leaving some *hugs* is the least I could do, for all of you'll who encourage me, to write more! :)

Soul Mates? ♥

2011-04-19T12:07:00.000+05:30

People think a soul mate is your perfect fit & that’s what everyone wants. But, a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that’s holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.

Define Soul-mate:

The "Key" to your "Locked" self

A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake.

But, to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave .. ♥

A crow?

2011-03-25T17:14:00.000+05:30

I was inspired by the picture of the Creature, clicked by a friend. Anyway, it's just a poem. It was fun to write. I'm guessing, it won't be a bad read either. Though, do let me know?

The muse.

Courtesy: Harish Iyengaar

I am the crippled crow,
I lack elegance and grace.
I won't ever see my true self grow.
I don't match the fast pace.

I am the ostracized crow,
and made fun of by my peers.
I've always been alone,
I finally have run out of tears.

I am the cowardly crow.
I don't fit in, at all.
I'm tossed to and fro,
because I can't stand tall.

I am a clumsy crow,
I can't soar the way they do.
I've never really been shown,
I'm afraid to start anew.

I am a simple crow,
I'm easily amused.
I'm strong willed,
though I'm easily abused.

I hate my bizarre crow skin,
I'm full of hope and love.
I think perhaps within,
I'm not a crow, but a dove!

Some things are never meant to be, baby! Yeah, i meant YOU & ME!

2011-03-07T12:37:00.000+05:30

We met 3 years ago.

We spoke too much.

We laughed & hung out together.

We got to know each other.

We dated.

You fell for me.

I paid no heed.

But, somehow strings got attached.

I tried to feel the same,

Trust me, i was getting there.

Those rings and expensive dinners, you spent on.

Oh! one helluva valentine gift, you gave me.

One night, you get drunk.

You do me a drunk dial.

Say things, i never imagined, you would.

Next morning,

I break up.

You tell the world,

I broke your heart.

Not a problem honey, i know how to give a RAT'S ASS!

A couple of weeks later,

I'm over you

& suddenly, you come around with your puppy face.

Asking for an "Apology" & a "Chance".

I say a blatant "NO" with an "!"

& You say, "I've changed".

Popping just one question, in my head; "Wtf?"

Two Lives Taken : [Rape]

2011-01-18T12:18:00.001+05:30

Questions? Comments? (: Your critique is welcomed.

The recent case of a minor being raped, intrigued me to write this!

You grab her wrists & hold her down, Gag her mouth, can't make a sound.
You rip the clothes right off her skin, With brutal force you enter in.
Tears keep flowing down her face, Her fragile heart begins to race.
Eyes of red & body sore, You hold her up against the door.
You're her first & it's too tight, with one hand you block her sight.
An act of lust is committed, not love, the speed increases with each shove.
Tears have dried till he releases, Thought he wouldn't after all her pleases.
The job was finished so he drew out, Her only emotions were fear and doubt.
You leave her naked on the ground, A few weeks later her belly's round.
A suicide caused by this tragedy, Two lives were taken, both child & she.

Ruben's Rape!

The Rape of the Sabine Women is an episode in the legendary history of Rome in which the first generation of Roman men acquired wives for themselves from the neighboring Sabine families.

- Ritu Kapadia (13th January, 2011)

[Blue, Red & Silver]

2010-11-27T12:38:00.000+05:30

This is all for you my dear, I ripped my heart out, but you don't care.

I know you tried to repair, fix the things that hurt. But you were far from fixing it, you made it worse.

Blue stands for feeling, all the tears that I cried,
all the nights without you when a piece of me died.

Red is for the blood I cut through when we fought,
when you didn't care if I was even hurt or not.

Silver is for the knife that created the red
& the red created the blue, baby they're are all on a thread.

Nice to know that someone remembers you, good thoughts or bad.

But the relationship, hard to tell breaking up was something glad.

It's better to be Single & wishing you weren't than to be in a relationship & wishing that you were single! :D

You're the reason.. I'm Complete! ♥

2010-07-12T17:06:00.001+05:30

All my life i knew there was something missing.
The pain and thoughts of it i keep resisting.
I never knew what that pain was until i found out the only thing missing was love.
Everyone i met was never able to fill that void, all they did was, lie and make me paranoid.
For it was people like those, who made me aware, that not everyone you meet will always care.
It's people like them, who gave me fear to trust even in situations where it's a must.
It just feels like i'd always go through pain and continue being empty.
The only thing i heard in my ears is a suicide remedy.

That's when you walked in, trusting you was easy and i could, you taught me that in my world of horrible, that in my life of sadness and frowns, there can be good.

You showed me how to turn them upside down, years of knowing nothing but lies and pain.
You showed me the sun, in a world of rain.

When i talk to you all my problems disappear.
I have nothing to worry about, i have nothing to fear.
When we're apart, it's a good thing to know you're always on my mind & have been for the longest of time.

You filled the gap in my heart, the missing piece to my puzzle.
It's because of you, i don't have to struggle.
It's because of you, life's a treat.

You're the reason baby, I'm practically complete! ♥

And, you may kiss your BRIDE, when the RAIN starts pouring! ♥

2010-06-24T16:16:00.000+05:30

To kiss when the rain is pouring, is every girl's dream!
It feels like a perfect "fairy-tale"!
Kiss me in the RAIN ♥

So similarly,
I want to walk out, with you, when it's raining & feel those raindrops on my body.
I want to run away & again run towards you & jump into your arms.
I want to whisper..."I LOVE YOU!" in your ears, kissing your left cheek softly!
I want to run my fingers, through your, then soaked hair & look into your eyes, wondering of why they give me an intense stare? It feels like reading a book! A book of You, Me & US! <3

Finally, I want to just kiss YOU. Give you the one kiss that you always deserved.. I'll try to make it the best one of all.

& then, In our heads all we can hear.. will be the audience cheering!
And, the screen turns black & the credits roll.
Awe! our movie. It's the END. <3
But, it's a start to a whole new STORY, The story of YOU, ME & US.
There will be more days like these, when monsoon prevails & even when the sun shines bright, we'll make hay, while our hearts grow fonder!

I LOVE YOU, MY LOVE & I LOVE MONSOONS!

Baby i miss you so much.. i really want to kiss you, Kiss you in the rain! <3

Ma, Mum, Mom, Mummy or Mother. You call her anything, She still does same things!

2010-05-26T11:29:00.000+05:30

Mothers are caring angels from heaven who are made from compassion, love, and happiness.
They watch over us without hesitation.

Mothers are the strongest beings ever made and shouldn't be messed with under any circumstances.

For the goodness and well-being of us humans, we thank them everyday for being with us through the worst times and whenever we need their guidance.

For those without mothers, do not feel sad or alone.

For there is a special angel that is watching you with her ever-lasting light of wisdom.

There is light within all of us and in that light is an angel who is a mother.. :)

Music ♥

2010-05-04T23:03:00.000+05:30

Numerous people have asked me about the kind of music I like.
Sometimes when I'm bored and I figure that the person is not really worth sharing what i like, i tell them, "Anything that makes me sing along or tap my feet." They also find it very innovative.
Haha.. It just makes me laugh! Seriously!
iTunes. Forever loved :)

You won't believe it, but i'm in splits even now, thinking of an hillarious inccident.
This is nowhere related to what i am talking about. I have an account on aim & i've registered this email everywhere. Be it on paper or internet. So, I think like people love making friends, I do.
But, i'm not talking about unknown people. These are people who stalk you down & try to strike a conversation with you. Sometimes, they turn out to be awesome "Chat" friends & sometimes "Laugh riots". None of them interest me much. But, once when i had too much time to waste.
I was online on my AIM messenger. To my surprise, some random "shaky" kinda id sent me a request. Thinking i would know who they are, i accepted the request. The conversation was merely a 6 line thing & i happened to block him & never accept anyone else's request ever again! (infact, i ask people i know, for their ids & add them myself. Not Facebook either!)

(I am glad Technology gave us a CHAT HISTORY option; the below conversation would've been a dream otherwise! Lol)

Shaky: "Ooh la la la.. pretty woman, do you like hip-hop?"
[Thinking to myself, how courteous he was! He didn't even say a "HELLO".]

Princess: "Umm.. NO! Country listener all the way. But, hey! do i know you?"

Shaky: "Oh nay.. i saw your email registered for a magazine application & you were asked, what kind of music do you like?
& you had answered, something like this;

'Anything that makes me sing along or tap my feet.'

So, found you interesting enough to talk to."
[I was surprised & have stopped registering myself at almost all places!]

Princess: "ho-hum.. ok! thank you :)"

Shaky: "So, when am i getting to hear you sing & to shake a leg with you?"
[I was hopping mad, almost felt like slaying him then & there! What a flirt... "Naa jaan, naa pehchaan aur ban baitha mehmaan aur guzaarish bhi toh dekho, Gaajar ka halwa?" hahaha.. that's what i thought!]

Princess: "NEVER! You retard! GO! Get a life! You faggot! Till then, enjoy your space in my block list. Goodbye :)"

The only thing i learnt here, was to say Goodbye with a Smile :)

So, getting back to our topic. Music!
____________________________________________________

One of my favorite movie claims that, Music gives a much more deeper meaning to life & relationships. My favorite character, Sophie Fisher(Drew Barrymore-My favorite too!) from my favorite movie, "Music and Lyrics" explains it in the finest way, possible. She says; "A melody is like seeing someone for the first time. The physical attraction. Sex. But then, as you get to know the person, that's the lyrics. Their story. Who they are underneath. It's the combination of the two that makes it magical." I, someone who loves to pen down her feelings. Music for me, is the amalgamation of Melody as well as the, Lyric!

So, yeah! Ever since i began to sing. I sing only country! It is apt. A complete assortment of the Lyric + Melody = Music. It is as good as having a friend. Country music speaks to me. It helps me blow a whistle on the other side of life. That is devoid of Hatred and any feeling like it. A feeling intensifies in you, a feeling that you'll never stop loving, even if you're miffed! It makes me feel i have something, that is within & always at my rescue.
Some people might think i am a little crazy when they read, that i speak to myself while singing.
But, c'mon catch yourself one-day while singing or even while listening to your favortie number.
Aren't you thinking of something much deeper, back in your head, like about, somebody you love or you despise or just maybe, Yourself!
But, like we all hide feelings, we happen to do so when it comes to our thoughts too!
You talking to yourself when you're singing or humming is very normal. (Applies to people who think they're normal..)
Try knowing this feeling & I'm sure you'll know, what you want, Truly, Madly, Deeply want! :)

Music should connect to your HEART !

So, like I said, Country all the way, we'll get a little deeper into my favorite Genre!
When i was a kid. I grew up hearing all the Country legends like; (i.e only when a person, i figure is interesting enough to talk to, about, my music tastes, i begin!)
Firstly, I could claim; "Country music was not just another musical genre but a trend or a lifestyle to some people."
Like how? Johnny Cash, Kenny Rogers, Linda Ronstadt, The Eagles, Chet Atkins, John Denver, Willie Nelson. They were loved by my Grandpa. He used to play this in the, early mornings at 6 am, everyday! & do i need to say, i joined in too ? Infact, "Gpa" was the reason, that i have a Goal. He gave me my biggest inspiration. He made me love "Language" & "Music". He used to tell me; "These things would make me or anyone grow into a much ameliorative personality!" He isn't around to play his Gramophone any longer. But, i still play it 'digitally' in my iPod & his all time favorite would be; Elvis Presley's Elvis. Awesome number. :) So, what if he's not around ? His music keeps him still with us, in our hearts !

"WTF! is that ?". Yeah! i know sometimes what you think is so wrong, you can't judge them by the way people look, really.

But, music is something that according to me brings a new meaning to my life, everytime i tune into a number.
____________________________________________________

Don't i have another chance ? I promise to not blow it off .. :*

This small little lyric by the pop legend (Hugh Grant - Alex Fletcher), conveys how much & how badly does he feel for the leading lady (Drew Barrymore - Sophie Fisher) in the movie.

Like, ALEX FLETCHER (in Music & Lyrics, sings):
It's never been easy for me
To find words to go along with a melody
But this time there's actually something on my mind
So please forgive these few brief awkward lines
Ever since I met you my life is changed
It's more than just my furniture you've rearranged
I was living in the past
But somehow you've brought me back
And I haven't felt this way
Since before Frankie said "Relax"
And though I know
Based on my track record
I might not seem like the safest bet
All I'm asking you
Is don't write me off just yet
For years I've been telling myself the same old stories
That I was happy to live off my so-called former glories
But you've given me a reason
To take another chance
Now I need you
Despite the fact that you've killed all my plants
And though I know
I've already blown more chances
Than anyone should ever get
All I'm asking you
Is don't write me off just yet.

That is music. My favorite music. The Music that talks. Talks to me! "Maybe COUNTRY or NOT! :P"

I just feel like quoting another favorite country song, as that's all i think i listen to;

It was performed by, Hank Williams Jr & written by, Merle Kilgore; R.; Hank Williams Jr!

These chorus lines in the first half.. will tell you what this genre really is;
"Country music, those tear jerking songs, About life the way it really is!"

Play some Haggard and Tubb or Jones
Or Acuff or your's truly H W J R
Or anyone else just as long as it's
Country music, those tear jerking songs,
About life the way it really is.

SOME VERY INTERESTING FACTS ABOUT COUNTRY MUSIC;

Trivia:
John Denver wrote the song “On the Wings of a Dream” dedicated to his father after he passed away.
Shania Twain was nominated for six Grammy Awards in 1999.
Alan Jackson worked in the mailroom of TNN before getting his major break.

Quotes:
“True country music is honesty, sincerity, and real life to the hilt.”
- Garth Brooks
“You have to listen to what resonates within your own gut. You find your direction there. Your voice comes out.”
- Kathy Mattea

Famous Songs:
Garth Brooks – No Fences (1990); (1956);
Chet Atkins – Picks the Best (1962);
John Denver – Windsong (1975);
Dixie Chicks – Home (2002);
Johnny Cash – I Walk the Line (1964)

Hush ♥

2009-10-23T07:37:00.000+05:30

Hush a little baby, don't say a word.
Let me kiss your face & don't you thwart.

The tears on my pillow, all of our fights.
It's all "dead & gone" & futile tonight.

Hush baby Hush! [ ♥ ]

I know you're my only, reason for living.
Hold on for awhile & it won't be long.

Hush a little baby, There's nothing to be said.
We love Us & need I say more ? :)

...It's an AyE 2 zEE about yOU & mE...

2008-12-15T12:06:00.000+05:30

I don't know if this would make a difference to you...
after it's all over ! But, i still wanted to put it down!

This ain't "NO" poetry, "NO" paragraph, "NO"
anecdote,
It's just what I felt after that night, when you told me... "You're the one for me baby"

It felt as if i had everything possible needed when you told me...
"I want you to be my *Aditi*.."

It's been the first time, i have felt this way, without things happening their actual way,
It totally feels crazy.. but, then your voice says : "Baby, It's destiny"

It feels as if am falling, but then i fall with no
worries..,
As I know that you'll be there to catch me falling...

I haven't even had a couple of memories with you!
but, then why does it feel, I'll forever be with you ?

It's 2 am.. i'm waiting for your call, I've probably, never behaved this way,
Tell me why is it this way ? Is it some magic wand you've waved ?

When i think of us, it sounds like *Goosebumps* with *Mills & Boon* all together..
now i know that's crazy.. but, then.. why do all crazy things happen to me ?

I know *Manchester United* is very much a part of you..
but, then can i not get like this one bit of you..?

When i think of "Us" it feels like the world's biggest *Giant wheel*, where in i've put you on the top, and taken out all the batteries, that probably may change it's direction..

Trust me.. when you say: "Listen baby, you know what ?",
You perhaps pump all the blood straight into my heart..!

I like the way you treat me.. i like it all, It feels that after an era of dungeons i was lost in,
You've found me the way out to an island.. where it's just You & Me !

Oh and yea.. probably It's all in the *GOOD TIMES*...*I lOvE yOu* ...
& you're anyway, the best looking MAN in my *LiFe*...

Some of these lines, may just not make sense..
But, then that's what you do to me.. leave me all spellbound!

You're the only Shahrukh Khan fan i know,
or would ever know, who's too good at all the romantic talk...

Sometimes I don't know if it's right.. but,
then..
"If loving you is *Wrong*.. I don't want to be *Right*..

In the end, I'd say just one thing.. I know i can't ever get you back, after the things that occurred.. But,you better know that..

"I need you,
You need me,
All we need is this feeling of love inside our hearts!" ♥

P.S: The rhyme-scheme may not really be very good, cause when it comes to you.. i somehow just tend to forget all my vocabulary! ♥♥♥

I LOVE YOU!!! =))

2008-10-29T12:25:00.000+05:30

That day in class after I had spoken to "Him"... on phone!
My English Literature Professor had asked everyone to write down as many lines as possible in class related to the thoughts that come to our mind...
It could be a "PARAGRAPH", "STORY" or a "POEM"...
This is what came to my mind!

ENJOY READING....

"Diddle diddle doo!
What are you upto?
All i want to do, is tell you...
I LOVE YOU!!!

Brown, black & blue!
Whatever you are upto?
I still feel like telling you...
I LOVE YOU!!!

The super - duper Rendevouz!
I have with you!
Makes me feel like tellin you...
I LOVE YOU!!!

The connection or perhaps " Just My Luck ",
When i'm with you...
Makes me say,
I LOVE YOU!!!"

The "rEmEmbErIng" of my childhood ... :)

2008-10-23T16:23:00.000+05:30

Looking back on childhood memories.

Old smells, sounds, the slightest touch would set me looking out for more. Finding, searching, remembering, and disregarding.

I loved it all.
That old house with its creaking wooden floors and its dizzying freshsmell of paint that never seemed to intermingle with the aroma of spicy Gujarati Dal and various exotic curries that my Maharaj would whip up for me at the drop of a hat.

I was always the spoilt one.

Even after burying their feet metres below the ground, mummy and papa could never actually be strict with me unless it was completely crucial.

But, my biggest fan had to be my Grandma. I remember Grandma, with her soft Grey eyes.

She was always trying to get me to dress something close to her liking. Her liking of course was the ultimate no for me.

Pink frilly dresses with tassels assorted with bright clean, untouched white shoes. That was totally unlike the way I chose to dress. For me, it was usually a slack t-shirt (that akin to a vagabond's), wrinkled, grass stained and if she were fortunate, at times I'd somehow even manage to get it all muddy.
Grandma would pull me close, stroke my hair and explain her ways of life to me. I'd usually fall asleep on her lap, totally calm, oblivious to anything around me and in total ecstasy.

The soft breeze of the old creaking fan in her room would give me somesense of cooling and the rhythmic tap of her hand on my back would lull me softly to sleep.

Grandma's lap was always the perfect place for me to forget all myworries.

That distinctive smell of her perfume still lingers in my head and I canstill feel the soft touch of her cotton sari attached to my skin.

Those were the times where grandma's lap was the solution to my most compound problems.
I still remember the old stilted corridor where a number of games had been played through out my immature days.

The total bliss of a ghee covered Roti is still embedded into my mind.

I remember every Sunday morning, Grandma and mummy would force me to apply oil in my hair which I absolutely refused to do. They would formulate chronicles that had absolutely no relation to my problem athand, but somehow I'd still manage to allow them to do it.

I remember my childhood and I remember how it faded away. I remember being innocent and I recall a world where everything was exiciting, fun and new. Our childhood is quickly snatched from us before we realise its worth and later we write short paraprhrases just like these, hoping that they will reignite these memories for even the shortest of seconds… but they never do. :)